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Volume 34, No. 24

12/15/20 | Newsletter

A Masked World

Dear Diary,

What has happened to your pages?

Blank pages…..blank sheets stare at me ……white pages
my pen still full of ink….
With nothing to say.

My calendar has no plans

my phone has failed to tell me it is time to go.
No story-time lunches with friends
and where are they?

And what has happened to the school bus?

The dependable yellow hulk has vanished
and so have the kids
that used to huddle on the corner.

Neighbors I don’t recognize behind their masks

vanish into houses that sit with empty stares and closed doors.
It feels like my world has lost itself and settled on a dead end street.
My family can’t find me and it is Thanksgiving.
Loneliness drives around looking for us all.

Am I dreaming?  Has the world stopped?

The color of my life is washed out ….missing……..gray
I’m often out of breath behind my mask.

My world is gone …….and I miss it…..and sometimes cry for it

I am sad in the new world called COVID
…a small world reflected on a screen
half-faces in pixels…… more kisses.
It feels like my heart has been ripped in two
and I can’t find the other half in the gloom.

But there’s a light in the living room

and there God sits on the sofa holding my heart.
We hug and hold hands and my heart beats in fullness.
We speak our stories with wide-open faces.

I am filled by this Holy Encounter

and Peace changes places with loneliness
The world out there is still masked
but the world of my heart is whole and open for business

I close now, Dear Diary, knowing my true world is still here and always will be.

Linda Binder – 12/12/20

Poem written by Royal Lane Member Linda Binder and shared at Mourning Light, December 16, 2020.